Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
