I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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