You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
