Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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