Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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