there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
