C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
