Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
