I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize