Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
