Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
