We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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