that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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