i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
