I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
