You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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