I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
