okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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