It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
vagina is talking i cant
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
