I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
