It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
