I am in a vortex of obligation.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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