Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize