Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
