Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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