I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
