i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
