how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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