Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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