my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
