i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
