she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
