I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize