Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
