oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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