im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
