Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
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