I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
