I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
