I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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