I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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