ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
