Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
