Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
