There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
