I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
