areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
