waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
