It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
FUCK WHALES
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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