My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
