well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
