Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
