why didn't you poke me back
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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