So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
