:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
