I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize