4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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