Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
