you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
