if you like me you must not know who I am
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
